The Growth of a Family
Our family was talking about the different stages me and my siblings’ families are in, and how kids change everything. We had three kids ages three and under, and that felt like quite a long baby phase. But that’s over, now, and my younger brother’s family is the one in baby mode.
Our kids are now 8, 10, and 11 (almost 12), so my wife and I enjoy date nights once a week—something we couldn’t do when they were younger. They are much more independent now, and can make their own meals, clean up after themselves, and do big kid stuff. It is nice! We were saying that if God gave us a baby in this phase, it would be a piece of cake—we’ve got three babysitters built right in!
The needs of a family change over time. When there are only babies and toddlers, the parents do everything. I mean, everything. Well, MOM does most of it—let’s just be honest—but the point is that the babies do nothing.
As they grow you teach them to clean up and have age-appropriate development expectations along the way. My wife and I work at pushing our kids sooner rather than later, so they have always been the ones to buddy up and go to the restroom at McDonalds on their own, or go to the counter at In-N-Out and ask the worker for stickers, or order their own meals at Olive Garden. They need that.
Their development is similar to a church family’s development. You start as a baby Christian, then move to toddler phase, until you’re a “big kid,” ready to do it yourself. You make a few mistakes, but you do it and learn.
At some point, you find your calling—what God has gifted you to do—and you lean into that with gusto. But sometimes it isn’t necessarily calling… it’s just what we do because we love the family.
I changed a few diapers as a dad. I didn’t really consider it my “calling,” but I did it as part of being a dad.
You might not love some part of your ministry, but in a family, you eventually grow into being the older sibling and help the family wherever you are needed. That IS your calling, actually.
Where do you line up in the family? Are you a “parent,” helping to nurture others along to be fully functioning members? Are you a responsible “teen” who’s completely capable, and nearly ready for whatever’s next? Are you a “big kid,” who’s not a little kid any more, but is still lacking a little experience? Are you a “toddler” or “little kid,” still learning the ropes but eager to try?
Or are you a “baby?” Time to grow up! Heb. 5:12
-Pastor Ryan